Everyday in our lives, we experience all sorts of conflict: in our homes, in our places of work and anywhere else where we need to deal with other people. And because conflict is unavoidable, here are five tips on how to handle conflict so that it does not grow into bigger problems later on.
Handling Conflict Needs Emotional Intelligence
According to a report in Motto, emotionally intelligent people (those who have high EQ) tend to handle conflict the best way possible – they “defuse” it. If conflict were a time bomb, they would be the bomb squad.
React or Respond
When faced with a situation of conflict, the person has two options to choose: to react or to respond. Reacting usually consists of an emotional action, such as walking out of a meeting, or angrily shouting at the person or persons concerned. Most of the time, reacting does not solve the problem at hand. And sometimes, it makes it worse because people will no longer talk to you for fear of a repeat.
When one chooses to respond, strong emotions such as anger need to take a step back. Responding involves looking at the issue or problem at hand together with the person or persons concerned. It also means an opening up so that both parties can find a solution together.
Exercise Patience, Humility and Self-Awareness
The Motto report also cited several leadership qualities that one needs to have when faced with conflict. Being patient fuels the need to take things one step at time, so that people can evaluate the situation at hand. It also helps one get through the long process of agreeing on a solution.
Yet another trait is humility. Being humble means swallowing one’s pride and setting aside the fact that you may be of higher rank than the others. You are keeping in mind the objective of the exercise which is to resolve the conflict. Lastly, practicing self-awareness means being able to consider what others are feeling or thinking about the situation. Focusing on all sides of the issue or problem is key.
Show Compassion
Ever heard of the saying “Kill them with kindness?” Instead of flying off the handle at a colleague, why don’t you try a dose of kindness? Most people will definitely be surprised but many will also welcome it.
Listen, for real
Ask a colleague who has not been doing well at work “Are you OK?” When he or she opens up to you about what has been happening, make sure you listen for real. Opening this door of communication may just help you prevent the next big conflict at work.
Practice Your Communication Skills
Most articles on conflict resolution all point to a key skill: communication. Communication involves a whole subset of skills from listening, bridging and being clear about the messages you relay. If you want to be an effective peacemaker, you need to hone these skills very well.