6 Ways To Spot A Narcissist

Psychologists say that narcissism in a trait that all humans are born with. In one way or another, each of us seek attention from others constantly, but sometimes some people do this excessively, at the expense of other people’s feelings and emotions.

According to Psychology Today, these types of narcissists are the ones who are more overt about who they are. There is another type of narcissists called vulnerable narcissists, who are not as obvious in displaying their tendencies, but when they do, they can still wreak havoc in relationships with people around them. Here are pointers on how to spot a narcissist.

1. Someone who is high on narcissism will “react in an aggrieved way” whenever they are criticized, rejected or insulted. People who are extra sensitive to any criticism or rejection are said to be experiencing a heightened state of narcissism. A simple criticism which some may view as helpful can be read by the person as insulting and hurtful.
2. A highly narcissistic person tends to get on other people’s nerves, sometimes for no apparent reason. He can either be feeling lots of anger or any negative emotion that day, and someone who encounters him senses his “antagonism” towards others around him.
3. They break the rules in “small, but consistent ways,” because they feel that they are exempted from them. One concrete example can be someone in your household who throws their weight around and does not contribute in doing any of the chores. They always find ways not to wash the dishes or tidy their things and it’s annoying. Sometimes, they may even do it intentionally because they feel entitled.
4. If you want to help them, they will hear you out, but will not take your advice and still do what they think is right. According the report, narcissists are difficult to coach. They will do their own thing and and when they make mistakes, they are likely not to learn from it. So it is likely that they will repeat that mistake.
5. They are inconsiderate of other people’s schedules that they can choose to “change schedules and appointments for no reason.” At one point in your life, you will have that friend or co-worker who sends you a text message at the last minute, saying that he cannot make it and asks for another time to meet. This sends off the message that only their time matters and not yours.
6. They have the tendency to be demanding, so when they talk to other people, they want full and immediate attention. Anything they say or do has to be treated as urgent. This may be usual in a work environment with our bosses, but it should not be so in a family or among friends. The report called it the tendency to “communicate in ‘all caps.’”

The guidelines above should be able to help us spot the narcissist or narcissists in our midst. But we should also use it to examine ourselves and how we relate with others.