A Tribute To Miriam: Famous Pick Up and Punch Lines

Although we mourn the loss of a great Filipino mind, Senator Miriam Defensor-Santiago, let us also take some time to remember her as the funny and witty senator, ready to churn out punch lines and more recently, pick up lines. Her pick up and punch lines have endeared her to the youth, so much so that she was the top candidate among youth voters during the last presidential elections.

Go ahead, read and laugh as we take a few moments to fondly remember her passing. Most of the quotes were lifted from her 2014 book “Stupid is Forever,” as well as reports on her speeches.

Miriam Defenosor Santiago: Pick up Lines, Silly English Lessons and more

Hilarious Pick Up Lines

1. “Miss, kutsara ka ba? Kasi papalapit ka pa lang, napanganga na ako.”
2. “Kapag mamamatay na ako, huwag na huwag kang pupunta sa libingan ko kasi baka tumibok ulit ang puso ko.“
3. “Pwede ba kitang sabayan pauwi? Kasi sabi sa akin ng magulang ko, ‘Follow your dreams’”
4. “Mag-exchange gift tayo? Akin ka at sa iyo naman ako.”
5. “Ang pag-ibig ko parang langka. LANGKAtapusan.”

Silly English Lessons

1. “Mention – Ang laki ng bahay nila, parang mention.”
2. “Punctuation – Sabi ng isang bata, “Daddy, pasukan na next week. Kailangan ko po ng punctuation.”
3. “Question: What is the plural form of iced tea? Answer: Bottomless iced tea.”
4. “Question: What is the plural form of rice? Answer: Extra rice.”

On Marriage, Love, Life

1. “A smart wife is one who makes sure she spends so much that her husband can’t afford another woman.”
2. “Marriage is not a word. It is a sentence – a life sentence.”
3. “Ang sabi nila, ‘An apple a day keeps the doctor away.’ Kung guwapo o maganda ang doctor, ayoko na ng apple.”
4. “Hindi naman ako mataba eh. In fact, I’m so sexy that it overflows.”
5. “Kapag sinabi sa iyo ng boyfriend mo na nanlalamig na siya sa iyo, buhusan mo ng gasolina at silaban mo.”

Political Commentary

“Anong tawag ‘pag nagtapon ka ng basura sa dagat?  Sagot: Pollution.”

“Ano naman ang tawag kapag tinapon mo sa dagat ang mga pulitikong kurakot? Sagot: Solution.”

“Kapag nagsinungaling ka sa congressman o senador, kakasuhan ka na ng perjury, may jail term ka pa. Pero kapag ang congressman o senador ang nagsinungaling sa iyo, ginagawa na nila ang trabaho nila, magkakaroon pa sila ng bagong term.”