I heard somewhere that if you’re friends with your ex, it’s either you’re still in love with them or you never were. Staying friends with your ex can be no problem at all or a disaster in the making, depending on the situation. Exes as friends would be smooth sailing if the breakup was mutual and good. They don’t love each other that much to be in a relationship, but enough to be friends. You could enjoy the company of someone you spend quality time with without the looming need to be couple-y.
Why would you stay connected to someone you chose to end ties with anyway?
Keeping them in your life isn’t as healthy as you’d think. It could spell “chaos.” A number of things could go wrong. You could fall in love with them again while they happily move on. Then they tell you about the numerous dates they’ve had because that’s what friends do. You could get back together and then repeat the same toxic cycle, the reason you broke up in the first place. They could start to like one of your friends. If that isn’t awkward, I don’t know what is.
You broke up with them for a reason, so cutting all ties with them isn’t such a bad idea. It means stopping that toxic cycle before it starts again. Or avoiding awkward encounters when your best friend brings them over as a date. Or hearing about them babble all day about how great his new “friend” is.
According to an article by Dallas News, 32 percent of Americans say feelings for an ex-loved one prevented them from dating again. Not all of them have remained friends, but it must be harder for someone who is. Spending time with an ex may intensify the already existing feelings. This stops them from looking for someone new. Instead, they’re hoping to get back together.
Weighing the pros and cons of staying friends, keeping them out of your life seem to be the better option. It is less likely for you to be hurt again and more likely to find happiness elsewhere.