We were stealing glimpses then smiles until it became memories we wish to hold on to forever. We were young back then sharing a love that is pure and innocent. We were happy simply sitting together, sharing stories and laughing together. You would walk me home with your arm around my waist to keep me guarded. A hug would suffice a “goodbye, take care” as I ride the jeepney home. It was simple but I used to look forward to it happening, again and again, each day.
Monthsaries, anniversaries, birthdays and holidays came. We were growing together. We do everything together that I memorized every inch of you. We felt like we were a part of each other and felt incomplete without the other. We were inseparable that we started planning our future. Our future careers, our future dream house, and our future children. It was so dreamy that every day felt like a fairytale with you. I was the princess and you were my knight in shining armor just like the Disney movies.
When we realized we are kids no more…
More monthsaries, more anniversaries, more birthdays and more holidays came. We were still growing together. We were close to our future and the plans we made are slowly unfolding. College came and we had different careers to take. You took nursing and I took Mass Communication. We were both busy enjoying and struggling to reach our goals but we were there to support each other. We never failed to remind each other what a future we have planned to motivate one another to never give up. We always hold on to each other and to our promises of being together.
More monthsaries, more anniversaries, more birthdays and more holidays came. We were starting to grow apart. We started to view the world clearer with wide eyes and mind. We have developed goals without the other. We and us became you and I, but we are still together. I started missing you which I do not usually do because you used to be just right beside me. I went over our pictures together, reminiscing all the good times we had. Suddenly, tears started to rush down my cheeks but I was not sure why. A lot of emotions were overwhelming me inside, but I was sure I am grateful to have you in my life.
When we started shaping two different worlds…
More monthsaries, more anniversaries, more birthdays and more holidays came. We cannot celebrate them together anymore but it was okay. You said you had too much to do and I was busy too. Hectic days came often and we started to lose track of time- our time together. I was always with my friends doing the things I usually do with you; watching movies, eating dinner and checking out cafes. I miss you so much that I hope it is you I am with right now. Have we gone cold or am I being dramatic?
More monthsaries, more anniversaries, more birthdays and more holidays came. We were starting to forget the dates. I learned to master composing excuse letters just to make it up to you, while your sorries became casual like hi and hello. Still, at the end of the day, we are still holding on to together. We kept fighting for the memories we had as long as we can still remember.
Then everything went crashing down…
We talked then listened until we were already crying. “I love you so much, what happened to us?” I love you too and I can never see myself with someone new. My mind was set to the future with you but the plans we have changed for only you and I. I cannot lose you but something does not fit right. We wanted to be together so bad but we have learned to grow apart. Is love enough to stay? My path is now miles away from us and your path was on the other side too.
No more monthsaries, anniversaries, birthdays and holidays we could celebrate together. No matter how much we try to go back to where we started, we cannot leave the life we have at present. I still love you and you still love me too. But when did it became so hard rowing in the same direction? You had a lot of plans for your future that just cannot fit mine and our goals have changed.
Was our love enough to stay? Were the memories enough to keep us holding on? I am not sure anymore. Did we change or we just realized that the world is not only about us? Life was not only about getting married, having our dream house and having children of our own. Life was not as simple as we thought when we were kids. The perfection in Disney movies was not real. I am not a princess and you were not a knight in shining armor who could rescue me in every distress.
Dear Almost,
The love we had was great and I know that no one can ever suffice the emptiness you left within. Still, we cannot keep forcing the universe to put the north and south pole side by side. I guess we really have grown and learned the real meaning of life. We have learned that there will always be people who will come and go in our life. These people either mold us or break us.
No more monthsaries, anniversaries, birthdays and holidays to celebrate with you. We have grown apart. We have understood the world better. We have achieved our goals without the other. You and I stayed as it is, we cannot be together. I still miss you which I now usually do, because you can never be beside me anymore. I went over our pictures together, reminiscing all the good times we had. Tears started to rush down my cheeks again because now I understand why. Sadness overwhelms me inside but I am still grateful I had you in my life.