Lessons from Susan and Morrie

I can’t think of any other Morrie Schwartz (of the Tuesdays with Morrie fame, one of my favorite reads too) in my life other than my mother, Mama Susan. I look up to her as my inspiration, my strength and my rock. She was widowed at the age of 33, with four kids left to raise single-handedly (me at 33, can’t imagine having this kind of responsibility, but she nailed it). She used to work in a bank which made her a full-time worker and a part-time mother. This is not entirely true, though. She might not have attended any PTA meetings nor joined any parent-related activities in school when we were still students but she never missed an opportunity to help us with our homework and assignment. She might not have been too keen to be present during special ceremonies in our school but I always caught her crying while preparing to frame or display our medals and trophies. I was not happy then; I wouldn’t understand how she was not a “mother” to us as she was always busy working. She even let me study far from home with basically no one to be with me. I was scared but she would always say, “Let this be a learning experience for you.” My mother has mastered the art of negotiation. As she would realize that I am not somebody to be leashed she would always take the route of reaching a compromise. She has taught me ways how to reach agreements with both parties satisfied, without hurting either party. These were my first bites of a “win-win situation.”

Just like my mother, one of Morrie’s signature characteristics is his ability to draw human spirit and genuine emotion from everyone he befriends. My mother, had she run for an office might have won unanimously. She is a friend to everyone and every one is her friend. I think it’s because she is a good listener and does not assume things. Morrie and my mother believe that love and compassion are crucial methods of communication. They are determined to see their friends return to their caring selves that they were. My mother is not ashamed to share her life and her personal beliefs; She teaches us to reject capitalistic and material-worshipping beliefs and to create our own values based on compassion and what we can offer others.

M. Albom is a student of Morrie as I am a learner to my mother. She says that people are running behind things that do not necessarily matter to them. She says that we must believe in each other and ourselves. Parallel to this, according also to Morrie “Invest in the human family. Invest in people. Build a little community of those you love and who love you.” He mentions we should rely on our own instincts to decide our thought processes and actions and not society. In his own words: “I don’t mean you disregard every rule of your community… The little things, I can obey. But the big things, how we think, what we value, that you must choose yourself. You can’t let anyone or any society determine those for you. You are what you are. You make you. You don’t let anyone drive your own wheels, are the words of my mother. These are some of the life lessons that are engraved in my heart as I continue my journey to self-discovery and life’s meaning as well. After all, Susan and Morrie came before me.

My mother’s loving and compassionate values will always be an integral part of what I am today. As I already have my own kids to raise, I hope to be as wise as she is. I will never veer away from her teachings as they paved the way to where I am now. I am thankful that she is my mother, not any other mother but her. I wish to write her own memoir too, someday. No. I’ll start writing now.